Colton Underwood Explains His Past Practice of Only Dating Married Men While Closeted

Colton Underwood, former NFL player and Bachelor star, disclosed on Tuesday's episode of the We Need to Talk podcast that he deliberately limited his sexual relationships to married men while he was closeted. He explained this strategy as a self-protection mechanism rooted in fear of being outed before he was ready to publicly reveal his sexuality.

Underwood, who was signed to the San Diego Chargers in 2014 as an outside linebacker before playing on practice squads for the Philadelphia Eagles and Oakland Raiders, said he carefully calculated the risks involved in his relationships. "The only way that I could think of to protect myself is I would only hook up with married men. Married 'straight' men," he explained. He reasoned that married men had more to lose than he did—a wife, family, and social reputation—making them less likely to expose his sexuality for fear of destroying their own lives.

This revelation contradicts the narrative promoted during his time on the Bachelor franchise. When Underwood became the lead of The Bachelor in 2019 at age 26, he was marketed as the first "Virgin Bachelor," a storyline he now acknowledges he disliked. He admitted that the virginity claim was used to conceal his actual sexual experiences with men. "I remember I always got asked why I was a virgin. So that was the storyline that they wanted to run with, and I hated it 'cause I didn't want that pressure, and then I also didn't want people digging in because at that time I had hooked up with men," he said. He clarified to Variety in prior interviews that by "hookups" he meant physical contact but not penetrative sex.

Underwood attributed his public virgin persona partly to his religious beliefs and internal struggle with his sexuality. He recalled his thought process at the time: "Maybe if I have sex with a girl I will become straight." He viewed accepting the Bachelor role as a way to "force" himself into a traditionally heterosexual path that would be acceptable to his family and faith community, believing public visibility as a heterosexual man would prevent him from ever acknowledging his true identity.

Underwood came out as gay in April 2021 during an interview with Robin Roberts on Good Morning America. He married political strategist Jordan C. Brown in March 2023 and welcomed their first child via surrogate in 2024. After his Bachelor season, he dated contestant Cassie Randolph from March 2019 to May 2020; following their split, Randolph accused him of stalking and harassment, obtaining a temporary restraining order that was later dismissed after the pair reached a private agreement.